The other night when I was flower arranging at home, my mom brought up an old memory she had of me from when I was a kid. Whenever she would take me grocery shopping, I would see the flowers near the front of the cash and wanted to buy some. She always said no because my mom isn't particularly partial to flowers - as they are not very practical and they die after a few days.
I remember crying after she would tell me that I couldn't have any flowers. I never really cried if I couldn't get an ice cream, or a cookie, or a toy - but I cried over flowers.
As a kid I was painfully shy, and my favourite place to be was at my uncle's library looking at hardcover books filled with paintings of flowers - Monet, Van Gogh, the Dutch Masters. Looking at the pictures in those books was like discovering a secret garden. It was a place all of my own where there was colour, beauty and light.
This is the first year of my life where I have a steady 9-5 job post graduation and I have a bit more disposable income than I previously did. At first I debated with myself, should I really be buying flowers? Isn't it too frivolous, wasteful or obsolete? Should I be spending my time doIng other things? But the thing is - none of those reasons matter if this is what makes me happy and if I'm able to make others happy by putting together a bouquet for them. I find the greatest job about this hobby has not been about receiving the flowers themselves but about seeing others find joy in receiving something that has been crafted especially for them.
And now I can buy all the grocery store flowers I would like!